The old adage of "I don't like to play games" is still around today. So with this self professed claim of hating such games.....why do people still so often feel the need to play them in the process of meeting each other? At some point  in time in the relationship, the real person is always going to either shine through or expose their true darker self! On behalf of those that do find themselves dragged into the "game", I think perhaps it is often times simply a reaction of trying to put our best foot forward and present the best self possible. But buyer beware! Look closely at the relationship  trip you are about to embark on......

When you play games in your relationship, you are not being completely honest with yourself or your significant other. Since the basis of any fantastic relationship is honesty and trust, playing games is usually the wrong choice. You don’t want to build a relationship on misconceptions and  lies or by breaking the other person down.
 
Rather than playing hard to get and making the other person think that you aren’t interested at all or have 20 other people chasing you –  why not take a different path and show your interest from the initial introduction to one another. . Don’t you want to know from the beginning if the relationship even has a chance before you "open mouth and insert foot" or someone's self esteem gets in the way of a meaningful beginning to something great?!

Also, rather than playing the victim in your realtionship and constantly whining that your significant other doesn’t love you, care about you or is taking advantage of the relationship in some form or manner. How about honestly telling your partner exactly how you feel? I keep a crystal ball in my office as a symbol to remind myself and my patients that we can't really read each other's minds! The issues of expectations and what we imagine that our partners should either do, say, or just plain know about our feelings, desires, and romantic notions is a huge problem for many couples. The reality of how this whole relationship concept should play out is simply a "script" in each individual's mind. Unless we actually communicate honestly and from the heart - love can unfortunately become a game of power and control.
 
 
What do you think?
Do you think that by playing game you will get the most out of your relationship?  Do you play games in the beginning and then soften as the relationship becomes solid? Or do you feel that playing games starts the relationship off on the wrong foot?

 
Please join the conversation below and leave your comments!

Photo via Cartoon Stock

It used to be that people didn't get a divorce because of the children involved. However, during these hard economic times, people are staying together simply because they can’t afford to get a divorce. That makes for any unhappy couples that are staying together because a divorce isn’t in the budget.

Economic uncertainty, paired with shaky or unhappy marriages can add a lot of undesired stress on a family. Previously many couples would finance their divorce by selling the couple’s joint home, now the couples largest asset has a larger mortgage on it then what it is actually worth. These unhappy couples also have a hard time getting a credit card or personal loan to pay for an attorney since the lending market has tightened their belts and aren’t giving out as many loans as before. And moving out into an apartment or another home can also be unattainable since a lot of couples can barely afford the cost of maintaining just one residence. It seems as though divorice is now a luxury that many people just may not be able to finanically afford.

What is a couple who is stuck in an unhappy marriage to do?

Do you stay together simply because you can’t afford to divorce?

Or, would you rather go bankrupt than stay in an unhappy marriage?

How do you think these decisions effect children involved? Is it better to have a 2 parent household that is miserable? Or are children whose parents are divorced live happier lives?

On the other hand, do you think that since getting a divorce is now harder to do, this may cause people to really consider marriage before actually doing it? Will it encourage people to try to make their marriage work, rather than calling it quits overnight?

Please join the conversation and leave your comment below!

photo via hsff

Who wouldn’t get excited to find a love letter waiting for them at the beginning of a day? Whether you are male or female your lover will appreciate your words and thoughts on paper.  Ever since the Internet boom, receiving a hand written love letter has become a thing of the past.  It seems today that the only remaining remnant of the love letter of days gone by...would be the advent of "texting."  The sound of that "ping" coming from our iphones now brings those feelings of anticipation and the excitement of hearing from our lovers! No more – pick up a pen and paper and write your significant other /lover  a letter that will make them swoon and remind them why it is that you love them.

Having a hard time getting started? Here are my 4 steps to writing a perfect love letter for your sweetheart.

To Whom It May Concern: Getting started can be different, so focus on the tone that you want to set for the entire letter and make that shine in the beginning of your letter.  Start out by addressing the letter to your “Dearest” or “Beloved” and make sure to date the letter, so she can look back on the memory and remember when it happened.  

The Opening: Start the letter by telling your love the reasons that you have for writing the letter. This is a good time to describe why you fell in love in the first place. You can also list the ways that your life has changed for the better since meeting this person, how you feel when you are apart or how wonderful this person makes you feel everyday.

The Body: Use the body of the letter to include fond memories that the two of you have shared together or take the time to list the wonderful qualities that made you fall in love with this person in the beginning. This is also the perfect place to simple say how this person makes you feel and how you can't imagine living without them.

The Closing and a Surprise: When closing your letter, use something romantic, such as; ‘All my love’ or ‘Yours Forever’ and then add a little something special in the envelope as well. Whether it that fantastic Polaroid of the two of you together last weekend or a little trinket that you found that reminded you of your love - it’s that little something extra that really shows that you took the time to write the love letter just for your special someone.

Do you write love letters to your lover? Or are you the recipient?

Do you think that writing or receiving love letters has an impact on your relationship? How?

Please leave your comments below!

Photo via Matt Baird