Change is upon is. This is most often a good thing. However, the current climate of change includes massive financial concerns including, recession, and loss of jobs, homes and yes, our relationships. The No.1 issue being reported by many already in relationship… is no sex life! So then what is this mysterious “Sexless Syndrome” affecting our perfectly manicured and totally pumped gym bodies?

To even imagine that we as human beings can ‘intellectualize” issues at work and problems at home…  and move on as though nothing is happening, is unrealistic at best. As stated best in a recent Desperate Housewives episode; by the character Carlos in response to Gabriele’s request, “I just wanted to have a normal life!” Carlos says,” Well, guess what sweetie? Dad’s unhappy at work; mom’s home with the screaming kids. You got one.” That pretty much sums it up!

Our emotional problems affect our physical well being. These two systems of emotionality and physicality do not operate independent of one another. It is a biological impossibility.

Although many traditional medicine practitioners have not previously focused on the mind/body connection, we as educated consumers are now demanding this dual integrative approach from our medical and alternative care practitioners and doctors.

When a patient whether male or female comes into my office with issues of low libido or more commonly stated as “No Sex Drive”,  I first will want to ‘rule out’ any other physiological or biological reasons that could be affecting their libido.

As a  Board Certified Clinical Sexologist, when patients present in my office with these issues I work collaboratively with a team of professionals, i.e. urologists, anti-aging medicine doctors, and other alternative care practitioners, to meet each individual patient’s needs.

Just as women can have an imbalance in hormones, so do men. Women lose hormones (90 percent over a two-year period) and are quite aware of their symptoms; because of this they usually do something about it immediately. For men, it takes 10-12 years to completely bottom out. Because this transition is so gradual they usually attribute these symptoms to aging. Many men and women have not realized that aging is simply declining hormones. According to experts, in the BHRT (Bio-Identical Hormone Replacement Therapy) field state that this decline can be slowed down and in some cases reversed with hormone therapy.

If you are seeking a sex therapist in your area to address these issues with, please make sure that they are licensed as a Board Certified Clinical Sexologist. Many find that their quality of life relationship and sex life are greatly improved, once these medical/psychotherapeutic issues are addressed.

During this holiday season, many find themselves without someone to enjoy the festivities with. Options are endless; there are parties galore and various opportunities for cozy times with that special someone. There are many opportunities at hand for those that are single to date or attend singles events. This brings us to the subject of “expectations”. As I have mentioned in previous blogs the dating process is not for the faint of heart. It is important to go into this arena with the right attitude. I have heard so many horror stories from friends, family, and acquaintances of the trials and tribulations of dating. (Especially internet dating!) In order to travel this treacherous and yet wonderful path of meeting and greeting, which can be both exciting and nerve-racking, one must enter the entire process with the right attitude.

Let’s start with internet dating. This process certainly begins with expectations. I was talking to a male friend of mine the other evening and he had a particularly “on the mark view” of how this dating drill needs to go. From this perceptive male’s point of view, too many people begin the process with expectations that lead them down the slippery hill into dating hell. He believes that if you spend more time than two phone conversations before you actually meet, that you then fall into the “jaws of the false expectations pit” by building up in your mind a fantasy person. Although internet photos are exchanged and some of your deepest, darkest secrets are exposed to one another, you still have no clue who you are really dealing with until you meet face to face. My male friend’s answer to this “false expectation” dilemma is that one must absolutely meet if not for anything more than a cup of coffee and a half hour of each others time by the end of the second phone conversation.

“Snow is snowing, wind is blowing  ...I can weather the storm, what do I care how much it may storm…got my love to keep me warm” Can’t remember worse December watch those icicles form….what do I care…icicles form… got my love to keep me warm.. off with my overcoat off with my gloves…who needs an overcoat I’m burning with love.. .My hearts on fire, flame grows higher…I will weather the storm….”

Frank Sinatra

The holiday season is upon us again as the sweet smell of Frasier fir and cinnamon pine cones waif through the air. In Florida the Christmas trees stands, eggnog and gingerbread lattes on the menu board at Starbucks are the few clues that the holidays are near.

Along with the excitement, decorations and spirit of the holidays, also comes the burdens. With the current state of our economy, many without jobs, our men and boys away in the military, for many these holiday weeks will be a very stressful time of the year for most.

It is important to sit back in times like this and reconsider what the true meaning of the holidays implies. Being together with loved ones, acknowledging what we are grateful for, and the selfless joy of giving to others is a greater gift than any store bought present that could make your Christmas bright.

The state of being happy and filling your heart with joy never truly comes from external things. Instead of feeling lonely because you don’t have friends or loved ones near, your energy and time is better put to use with a plan to accomplish something good, to envision trees of green rather than the empty branches of winter. Now is a time for opportunity to help someone else in this wonderful world. Saying I love you can be accomplished in numerous ways. Receiving the loving energy of sharing and helping others is also great food for the soul. It is often human nature to feel sorry for ourselves, what the heck we are only mere mortals.  See if your neighbor needs help, volunteer at your local church or synagogue, and donate to your favorite charity.

It’s that time of year when the world falls in love. Wishing you and yours a peaceful and blessed holiday, and May your New Year dreams come true.