Well, July 4th has come and gone, and the summer is almost half over. Can you believe it? What about your dreams all winter long, enduring the cold and the snow, thinking about that great summer vacation that lies ahead. Hoping to meet that special someone during that long hot and sultry summer, you devise the most intricate of plans in your head, knowing it will be a July full of romance and lust that will outshine any firework display!

SCREEEEECCHHHHHH!!!!! Ok, now back to reality. It is the middle of the summer, and your one true love has not yet appeared! Egad! What on earth, no it can't be, not another bummer of a summer with no fantastic love story to report upon return to earth and your fellow co-workers!

So then, what of this fantasy that most of us have had once or twice in our lives, to fall madly in love with that one unique and fantastic, handsome/beautiful person that walks on water and floats through the air?

The one that you've created in your mind a thousand times over, that will love you like you've never been loved before and can do no wrong. The one guy or gal that reminds you of good old mom's apple pie and dad's aftershave when you were 6 years old.

It’s a bird, it’s a plane, NO....or is it merely a myth as intangible as Superman's ability to fly?

You tell me. I'd love to hear from my readers first. Then I'd love to respond to most all of you as to whether or not I truly believe that "REAL LOVE" does indeed exist!!

Is anyone out there still having sex? Honestly, I know it is summer and hot, hot, hot out there, but c'mon people...surely you have the time and energy to conjure up a bit of sexy stuff with your partner! As they say, "Just Do it!"

Madonna's got it right when she sings, 
"Gonna dress you up in my love, in my love All over your body, all over your body In my love All over, all over From your head down to your toes."

There ya go, remember what it feels like to be in lust?

In conversation with another mental health professional this week, I was startled to hear her corroborative report that none of her patients were having sex! Although she doesn't specialize in sexuality, the issues of low libido and desire were also raising their sad statistical little heads in her psychiatric arena of therapy.

The issues of low libido, lack of desire and simply falling out of love with a partner are in the top 3, of issues that present in my office. The reasons range from simply not being in the mood, to some personal affront or offense perceived by one or another of the partners, resulting in a sexless and guarded relationship.

Once anger and contempt enter the parameters of relationship, there is a black hole where the heart used to be. No love or intimacy can grow there in the dark.

Only through healthy communication can these problems in a relationship be "fleshed out" a term used in the therapeutic world. This meaning, being able to work through the hurts and disappointments that are always there in the world of relationship. Knowing how to fight fairly, not bringing up the past or throwing verbal zingers at your partner just to inflict pain or harm.

Before you're singing the song...you're already gone, I'm lonely, and find yourself begging your partner to stay, stop here please! These are the final stages of argument, where partners can make mistakes that are irreparable.

Professional help can often help partners sort things out and prioritize their relationship in a healthier more functional manner.

The statistical facts continue to support the fact that marriage and relationship is hard work. It is hard to keep sexuality and romance alive in relationship today. What can be done about it? Is sex still important after a few years together?

As a Clinical sexologist, I say, plenty can be done about it! And yes, sex is absolutely, totally, definitely, a necessity in relationship. There are a 1001 ways to show love, and enjoy a fully satisfying sexual life with your partner.

With the advent of the current green trend, did you ever wonder about the toxins in your sex toys? By the way, I'm hoping that this is not merely an organic trend or the politically correct way to be right now, but rather the new and only way for our future world. It is crucial that we all become aware of ways to save our beautiful planet earth, and keep ourselves safe and healthy as well. 

So then, what of this current awareness of toxic sex toys? Well, it seems that many popular erotic toys are made of polyvinyl chlorides (PVC) , plastics long decried by eco-activists for the toxins released during their manufacture and disposal. These plastics are softened with phythalates, a controversial family of chemicals. These include the inviting soft "jelly" or "cyberskin" sex toy items that have become so popular in the last few decades. 

Although the earlier models, such as the infamous "Rabbit" were made with PVC plastics, it was difficult for many of the larger stores to carry plenty of items and yet avoid PVC. It was ultimately cheaper and the educated consumer had yet to reach the awareness plateau that exists today of green products, ie. soaps, detergents, linens, sheets, foods, and yes, sex toys! 

Most have tried a sex toy once or twice. That great smell of your brand new plastic toy is basically the new toy "off-gassing", meaning it's releasing VOC's into the environment. The problem with VOCs? Organic compounds are the basis of all living things and contain carbon as their principal element. VOCs, in contrast, are chemical compounds that vaporize at room temperature. 

They are suspected carcinogens, meaning that they can cause cancer when you breath them in. So consider what damage you can be doing when you put these "safe" plastic sex toys in your "vajayjay"... as Oprah would say! 

Even scarier, sex toys are unregulated, meaning that there are no guidelines for manufacturing, no requirements to disclose what materials are involved in manufacturing and no regulatory body that governs what plastics and chemicals are used. 

With all the recent press highlighting the indiscretions and backstabbing policies of Big Business and the banking world, do you really expect your sex toy company to be a bunch of angels? 
This all means that you must become an educated consumer. This includes investigating, reading, and knowing what you put on or in your body, from food to sex toys! 

Also, an important note. We all need to push for regulatory action on the hazardous chemicals in all consumer products. A funny thing, these chemicals like phythalates, which were recently banned by the government in the children's toys , are yet still a problem in our adult toys.