Wow, February has gone by in a blink! Does it seem that way for many of you? Many of my recent blogs ( which can be found on my newly revised website,http://www.bocatherapy.com/ either under the Euphorium Q&A or the traditional format of AskdrArlene Blog link) have addressed the current state of our country and the pressures of stress on our relationships and sex lives.
My office manager called me this morning to tell me that she heard a local radio station down in Miami, I believe it was Power 96 FM, discussing many of the issues I've been addressing on my site. I believe they were taking phone calls from listeners about how the stress is affecting their sex lives! It is wonderful that the media is acknowledging these issues. However it is important to be pro-active vs. simply stirring in the muck and mire of a self-pity party. To do so is like going round and round on a hamster wheel without any change in site. The real issue here is "WHAT THE HECK CAN YOU DO ABOUT IT TO FEEL BETTER NOW???!!
If you are alive and breathing it is a given that you are already dealing with many of the issues life has to offer us on a daily basis. Adding on the additional stressors of financial woes, depression, loss of job, loss of income, anger, anxiety and ZAP! you can find yourself over the top ...you're in a slump or place of anxiety that you can't seem to escape from!
Yes, of course its true that stress and financial issues are going to affect us in so many ways, ie. our physical health, mental health, and of course our sex lives! During this next month you can follow my "Sexual Health Group" blogs on "SURVIVING STRESS" , also more help and links
Arlene G. Krieger, Ph.D. , director of the Sexual Health Group at the Center for Wellness & Sexual Health, Inc. is currently writing a book about achieving and maintaining a healthy sexual relationship, The Simple Sex Guide.
in Relationships on Feb 13, 2009
It’s that time of year again when all is ok with the world and we are all in love! Valentines Day is coming!!!! All of our romantic dreams will come true! Our lovers will understand us, hear our deepest thoughts, validate our existence in this crazy world and love us deeply until the end of eternity. Arrrgghhhhh! REALITY CHECK: Our nation is in crisis, yet we are trying to make sense of it all. Lovers and couples have much more on their plates than simply attending to daily issues of their marriages, partnerships and relationships. Marriages and relationships are in trouble more than ever now. Fear of losing everything we’ve ever worked for, insecurity of not being able to provide for your family, and the resulting behaviors of arguing non-stop are all taking their toll on relationships~ Homes, jobs and even our relationships are at stake in this economy. These economic issues are spilling over onto our dinner tables, and seeping into our bedrooms. These changes in the world are affecting our personal lives more than we realize. It is impossible to live in this world without confronting stressors in our daily lives. However, everyone has a breaking point, a place somewhere on the continuum of life where ‘overload’ occurs and you “just can’t take it anymore.” This is the statement heard most often in my therapy office the past few months. We are satiated, overwhelmed by financial issues, arguments over paying the bills, the pulling apart and separation of the “coupledom” of the relationship. Where is the romantic partnership that we thought we had? What happened to that man/woman that we fell in love with so long ago? Doesn’t he/she love me anymore? Am I still attractive to my partner, don’t they desire me anymore? “We’ve been together for 5….10……20….years and the spark is just not there any longer” these are the greatest concerns of men and women in relationship today. This month I am featured in the cover story of Boca Magazine’s February 2009 issue- “15 Ways To Say I Love You.” I speak of ways to “Spice It Up” in relationship. Most importantly is the fact that “couples must realize that romance is an absolute. You have to re-create the relationship on a daily basis. Yes, it’s work. But so is getting dressed in the morning and making breakfast.” Relationship is work. It requires no less than the effort one puts into their job, their hobbies, themselves. To love another requires committment to recognizing their uniqueness. Love is not about creating a clone of yourself and expecting your partner to be exactly like you. Lastly, love is not simply a feeling. Not the lust you first felt in the first few weeks of dating. Rather, LOVE is a decision, an action in understanding and caring for your partners, emotions , likes and dislikes and most importantly your partners needs….”see me…feel me….touch me”…….HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
in Random Thoughts on Feb 12, 2009
You are the bread and the knife,
The crystal goblet and the wine...
You are the bread and the knife,
the crystal goblet and the wine.
You are the dew on the morning grass
and the burning wheel of the sun.
You are the white apron of the baker,
and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.
However, you are not the wind in the orchard,
the plums on the counter,
or the house of cards.
And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.
There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.