During a press conference the other day, President Obama stated, “We are going through the worst economic crisis since the ‘Great Depression’. Whether one recognizes the President’s remarks as truth or not, one can’t help but realize that many in our nation’s population are experiencing financial hardship along with great levels of stress. This is a high stakes game that most are trying to find their way out of without any solutions in sight.

Countless couples are coming in my doors now depressed, with many on the verge of divorce. It is disheartening at best to see the pain and angst they are suffering. Ultimately by the time they make the final decision to come in for therapy, there is often much unresolved anger.  The anger has by now manifested in lack of trust, no desire to care about or show empathy for their partner and an overall sense of hopelessness.

I explain to the couple the options available in therapy and the therapeutic modality in which I will be working with them. If the couple is still engaged in their relationship and appears to be willing to work on staying together, then I will utilize every option available to help them find their way back to one another.

Whether or not the couple is deemed to be still, “In Love”, is a blanketed notion that cannot determine the chances of the relationships survival at the onset of therapy. Love is not an adjective, it is a decision that two people make together to invest in their lives as one loving unit. In other words, as team players, “you and me babe” against the world.

I often tell my patients that they must do the work in therapy; I don’t “fix them.” They must work together with the therapist to help themselves also. It is not easy work for the couples and it can get intense, however it is worth the effort. I often tell my patients that it is worth the last ditch efforts to explore saving their relationship, so that they never have any regrets as to whether or not they did the right thing.