"I just had a date from hell", stated the man standing behind me at the local Starbucks this rainy Sunday morning. 

A date from hell, ahh I can relate to that experience myself. But just what is this experience that so many speak of? C'mon we've all heard both males and females complaining of their most awful dating experiences as being the worst ever in history!

So then, what constitutes a "worst ever" experience? The context differs based on the differences in gender perspective from those interviewed. 

First let’s tackle the No. 1 question of who pays for dinner!

From the Men: 
(these comments were made by men in the 28-62 year old age range, interviewed in the South Florida area)

The most common complaint is that women expect to be bought expensive dinners, whether the first meeting is a mutual attraction or not. Further, even if dating, many men often complain that they are expected to pay for all entertainment, dinners, etc. without any gratitude or reciprocity at all. 

I asked what "gratitude and reciprocity" looked like. Exactly what are these men speaking about? Well, in general here is what they had to say. 

1. We don't want to be expected to pick up the check. The woman should at least put her credit card on the table and offer to pay half, or at least pick up the tip.

2. Why should we have to pay for dinner if the woman makes the same salary if not more than what we are earning?

3. It shouldn't just be expected that the man pay for everything. I think a lot of these women are just gold diggers looking for someone to buy them dinner.

4. The woman wants us to buy them dinner but then won't even spring for a goodnight kiss or show us some affection.

5. What do we get in return for spending over $100.00 for a movie and dinner? Why should the man have to spend that kind of money every week on a different woman? In the internet dating scene, when you are dating around, it should be understood that we go Dutch and share expenses.

OK....NOW FOR THE WOMAN'S POINT OF VIEW

When the same question was put to the women on this subject of who pays for what, this is what the general consensus was: (These comments were made by women in the 28-58 year old age range interviewed in the South Florida area)

1. Call me old fashioned but I think that when a man asks you to dinner, that he should pick up the tab. I mean, we talked on the phone several times, the man asked me out, and why should I be paying for his dinner? Its kind of a man woman thing, you know, the man picks you up, drives you out on the date, opens the door for you (yeah right) and pays for the evening if he is interested in you.

2. Well, I can't speak for all women, but I do expect for the man that asks me out to show me a good time and pay for either dinner, a movie, concert etc. Usually the guy makes a better income than many women and they can afford it. Many of us are single or a divorced woman with children to take care of and dinner out just isn’t in our budget. Whatever happened to good manners and the way it used to be in my parent's time? Back then according to my Mom, men were gentlemen and would never even mention money or what things cost for the evening on a date!

3. I'm so glad you asked me this question. I get this all the time from many of my dates. They get offended if after buying dinner and spending approximately 1 hour and 52 minutes with them, you are not either all over them or letting them put the moves on you. I can't believe it, they expect us to just go home with them for the evening and spend the night over. So who really has the sense of "entitlement" here? Is it the women because we "expect" the guy to spring for dinner, or the guy because he wants us to "put out" after he spends his money on us?

4. Oh gosh, I don't know. I guess it depends on the situation and the persons involved. There are so many scenarios possible. You just can't say it should be any one way. I personally believe that before even going out on the date, perhaps you should have talked over things like values, belief systems, and the way you both are as people. Too many of us jump into something, I have to admit I've done it myself, for the wrong reasons. You know, the guy is really cute, but ends up being a player or a jerk by nights end. I think women should spend at least as much time as they do when buying a pair of shoes in the decision making process of whether or not the "guy" is a good fit!

5. Why does a man buying you dinner give him the right to think that he can have his way with you? Most importantly, is he dating or buying you for the evening? Perhaps he should be on one of the 1-900 web sites and not on the internet "dating" sites. Where do these guys get off expecting that they are owed something after a date that they've paid for?

6. On the who buys dinner thing, I don't really know, it’s always a different story with my dates. 
One guy however, told me on the second date, that he really wanted to sleep with me. I told him that I didn't sleep with someone unless I knew them well enough to have developed some real feelings for them. His response? "You would sleep with me now if it weren't for the fact that you think I would think you were a tramp." Wow.....I couldn't believe what I was hearing from this guy. I should have just walked away and called a cab.

And there it is from my recent interview on: He said/she said

This forum only reflects the thoughts and opinions of this random interview study. I would love to hear from my readers around the world on this subject. Please let us know your thoughts and opinions!