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The Euphorium Q&A

Everything you ever wanted to know about sex but didn't ask. Here's your chance to ask Dr. Arlene Krieger.




Ask Dr. Arlene


 

                                                                                     

 

 

It's almost impossible to not get caught up in the spirit of the holiday season each year. The sound of Christmas music is wafting through the stores at the mall, on the radio and even in the halls of our places of business. You can smell the excitement in the air along with the scents of Christmas pines, cinnamon, hot chocolate and the sounds of crackling fire places.  People all in a mad dash, spending, buying and uplifted by the romantic notions of gift giving and the excitement of all that encompasses the upcoming holidays.

This is a time to think of loved ones and to be recognized and loved back by our respective special people in our lives. Whether it is a romantic partner, a best friend, family members or acquaintances, there is barely a soul that doesn't want to be part of the lovely and warm- hearted ,  spirited  rush of this madness. 

The  effects of the holiday season  are not always an uplifting experience for the many people that spend the holiday alone. I often hear those that are not in a relationship or disconnected from family, remarking with blanket statements that they hate the holidays. It is very true that this time of year is difficult at best; for those that wish for the experiential closeness of lovers, friends and family it is a wake up call of just how alone they actually are. 

 I often feel  that the Holiday Experience may just be overrated in some aspects, both sentimentally and emotionally.   Hearing from a patient recently that, "the whole idea of giving gifts that no one wants and receiving gifts that you don't need is just a silly  waste of time" , I stopped to think and respond to those thoughts. 

Of course we all know that the holidays are not just about gift giving but represent sacred religious traditions. With that said, all other aspects of the season are both sentimental, individually traditional in many ways and full of unique expectations from each of us. 

None of us can control the variant aspects of relationship. For some at this time of year, you may be entering a new relationship, celebrating years together, or ending a relationship. There are issues of divorce, breakups, loss and tragedy for many.   

In order to move forward during this time of year with no regrets or sadness for the life you live, whether it be with another or alone, now is the time to make you dreams become real.  Make yourself a better friend, become a better person in the new year ahead.  This time of year is a time to celebrate your life and your future.

 I am writing this blog on December 22, 2012.  Obviously we are all still here thank goodness, in contradiction to the Mayan calendar's predictions! I believe that the real meaning of those predictions were about change. The recognition of the world around us, the need for each and everyone of us to make a difference in the world. 

Instead of bemoaning the holidays and focusing on "being alone", how amazing it would be if we could each pay it forward and GIVE of ourselves. There is always someone out there with problems greater than yours. Someone that would benefit greatly from whatever you can give, whether it be your time or intention. 

I believe in making life happen, not waiting for life to happen to you. Go out this holiday and donate your time to a good cause, appreciate and take stock of all of the aspects of your life that you are grateful for. I'm sure there are some. Hug your child, your friends, your family, or a stranger!  Make new friends and join the human race again...... I'm so very sure there are welcoming arms waiting for you. 

In Love and Light...

Dr. Arlene Krieger

 

 

 


 


                                                                   couple in love                                                                    

 by Dr. Arlene Krieger 

Some men are just oblivious and others simply seem to just get it and understand what we women are all about! It is a well known fact that the sexes are altogether different creatures. So hold on to your Iphone and take careful notes here guys!

Women in general like acknowledgment and loving affection, a person with whom they can connect, relate to and most important of all, a person they can trust. We also need our men to be able to “Communicate.” Yes I know, that is such a tricky term of art for men to grasp, so I’ll make it simple and break it down for you.

Women want to be able to discuss their life, their dreams, their hopes and fears. For every secret they tell you, they want you to tell them four more. Hopefully by the time you've dated for at least a month, women want to be able to feel the “we” of the relationship, which means that you would be using what I call “future talk” with one another.

This includes talk on the man’s part of wanting to include the woman in his life to some capacity, i.e. introducing her to his friends, remembering specifics of her career, being spontaneous, wanting to surprise and please her, talk of future plans together for the holidays, summer vacations, in other words, letting your woman know that you can actually see a possible future for the two of you somewhere down the road! ( Im not talking about running off to get married at the the Elvis Chapel on the 5th date)

Although women can seem mysterious, they will show you what it feels like to be truly loved, as long as you’re willing and able to accept the responsibility of a true and loving relationship. It is up to you, the man to show them that you and your feelings for her are real, and mean it! Your words must always be your honor. No excuses or sad stories for why you forget to call them on Saturday nights or are too tied up with your own life demands to find the time to pursue them ( no matter how hard it may be for you at times) with the desire of a man in love!

Compassion and understanding are also big on the list of Do’s. Women like a man that is compassionate and understanding, someone who shows that he genuinely cares. It is important for a woman in this 21st century to be able to speak her mind without being considered to be “trouble” or a “princess”….respect for your woman’s thoughts and opinions matter. Recognize her intelligence and strong points.

Even if you don’t agree with her, find good points from both perspectives and learn to communicate. It is of utmost import for her to know that she is seen as a total and whole person in your eyes. Never cut her down or tell her she would be so much more beautiful ( or look 10 years younger) if only she would ; i.e. get her breasts enlarged or go blond! Find something unique her that no one has ever told her about before, and mean it. Women will see right through anything that is not authentic.

Hope these few tips for getting the girl that you deserve have helped! Just remember, you’ve gotta be the guy that she deserves and no less!!!!!

 


 

                                               fighting couple                                     

I find that people are always very willing to open up and discuss their life events whether they are patients in session or random people passing through my daily world.  From what I can gather it seems that the average person nowadays is concerned about their livelihood. 

             Here are some of the Key Issues and Strategies for facing Stress head on~

With an ear to the street, many in the service industries, retail stores,  personal services such as your acupuncturist, chiropractor, masseuse,  web designers, etc. and yes even your doctors, are reporting a decline over the past year in their service industry business.Those with a spiritual spin speak the talk of remaining positive and not speaking of the dreaded negativity of a downward slide in earnings.  I certainly am a believer and adhere to many a spiritual quest myself, however reality and the balance in your bank account is very real. Lighting candles and speaking positive words of enlightenment won't feed your families or keep the lights on.   

As a Psychotherapist, counselor and healing energy to many of my patients I can only offer them options to consider.  To begin with I believe that you must have a plan. I don't think that one should just sit and wait for life to happen to you.  In my journey as a single mother, raising three children on my own, my kids used to laugh when I told them I had 3 plans lined up. Therefore if one failed, there were always the other two!  My daughter once revealed to me a few years back that her college roommates stated that she was the most "hopeful" person they had ever met! The best compliment I ever could have received. 
Staying emotionally healthy in this economy is tenuous at best.  Beginning a new plan for life, restructuring your business, adjusting to a simpler lifestyle, developing a new sense of what you want to do in your life, what's truly important, wants vs. needs, etc. are all part of re-framing your life plan. 

Find a friend to talk to that you trust and respect. Sometimes speaking your mind and getting some feedback can truly help in your thought and decision making process.  It is always a great thing to be able to find a local and Licensed Therapist that you trust and feel comfortable with. Their level of expertise can often help you in helping yourself to a better place emotionally.
Also don't forget to take care of yourself. Exercise, eating right, getting together with friends sometimes, even when you don't feel like it is imperative in keeping you healthy and optimistic.  You never know who can be of help or offer up enlightening possibilities. 
Please remember that you can always ask your mental health provider to work with you on a payment plan or sliding scale fees. 
 Don't go it alone if you don't have to.  We in the healing arts field don't get rich in this business. I believe that most of us that go into the field of Therapy truly care about people and want to help you and impart the knowledge that we were so blessed to have gleaned in our years of training. 
In Love and Light, 
Dr. Arlene Krieger

 


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