When Sally first got a call from Sam, a man that she was supposed to be  set up with, she had that funny feeling in the pit of her stomach. By the time the call had ended Sally was wondering what had just happened. Her prospective date had been friendly enough, he had even asked her out for a Monday or Tuesday dinner for the upcoming week. 

That's it she realized; why would a man call you on a Friday morning to ask you out for a weekday date for your first date? Well, for starters  because of the infamous... "Weekday Date" every smart girl knows that this is a hedging your bets, safe date. You don't really rate yet in this man's agenda yet, so he asks you out on a random Monday night date to see if he likes you. Then of course if you hit it off, you just might rate the "Weekend Saturday Night Date."

While hanging out with her girlfriend, Sally ran this whole scenario by her friend over a cup of coffee.  Val was a big and beautiful woman with a quick wit and a background in law enforcement, enough street smarts and  savvy to have an opinion and mean it!  What!!!?? Val 's response was quick and to the point.  "I don't like it" she pointedly stated, I've got a prickly feeling in the pit of my stomach about this man. You let me know how it goes she said, with a doubtful frown.

Sally was a professional woman with a busy schedule. Still having that churning feeling of unrest,  although she had agreed to meet this new man on a Tuesday night, she called and broke the date claiming to have to work late.  Still he called the next day to see if she was free. He said he was going out of town for Christmas but wanted to meet her before he left. She agreed to meet him thinking that he had made an effort to get back to her. Perhaps her inclinations about him were wrong.

Sam had made dinner reservations at an upscale local restaurant for 7:30. Sally told him she would meet him there after work.  He spotted her immediately as she approached and once seated at the bar with him waiting for their table, Sam apologized for reaching out and touching  her thigh. He laughed and said he was a really touchy feely guy. During dinner the conversation went well, although he had brought up several subjects including, being lonely, looking for something real, not wanting to settle just to be in a relationship. When they got to the valet he told her that he had something for her, he'd be right back. As the valet brought up his car, a Bentley....( ahem...Player Alert) he  reached into his car and came back with a small package, handing it to her. He said it was Christmas and that although he had just met her, he wanted to give her a small gift. It's nothing big he said, I'm really doing it for myself, it makes me feel good to be able to give someone something. ( Bigger Player Alert)

When Sam got back from New York he texted Sally to see if she could meet him for dinner on Thursday night.  Sally met him at a cute and cozy little place that he had chosen for their second date. When Sam saw Sally he walked up to her and gave her a big kiss. During dinner, he pulled her to him as she went to use the rest room and kissed her. Oh my gosh she thought, this is a very romantic man. When dinner was over, Sam slid his chair next to her and took her hand. Kissing her ever so softly, he told her that this felt like something special.

 After dinner they took a romantic walk.  It was cold outside as he pulled her close to him, holding the collar of her jacket, he  kissed her again and again as they said goodbye. 

The next morning, which was coincidentally Saturday and New Years Eve,  Sally received a text, "Morning Sweetness, at golf course...you were delicious last night, wasn't easy to fall asleep with you on my mind ~ Sam"

Screechhhhh!!! Player Alert!   Later that morning Sally ran into Sam at the gym. She seemed upset so he asked her what was wrong. Well, she said....I know we've only been on two dates, but it is New Years Eve tonight and I though you might have asked me to spend it with you.  He  looked at her  somewhat embarrassed and awkward, he blurted out..."well, I was going to call you last night but I didn't want to bother you. Ummm, I actually agreed to go to a party with a woman I used to date, she asked me several weeks ago and I didn't want to disappoint her."  

_OK_____    .... This is where this man becomes the player. Either he is completely clueless, dumb as a rock or a Big Ass Player!!  If Sam was so into Sally, as evidenced by his quick to  the draw, kissing, romantic walks with kissing, and more kissing,  including his statements that he was "crazy" about her, along with the over the top Text Messages.... I don't care who he promised to go to a party with several weeks ago, his priority should have been Sally, the woman he was currently attempting to date. New Years Eve of all nights represents one's future, not the feelings of a woman this man had once dated.  What kind of message could that possibly have sent to Sally except that she was not his No 1 priority?  

Sally dumped Sam. Poor Sam. But then for the most part, Players never know that they are Players until they find themselves alone. There are no excuses for bad behavior. It's as simple as that. 

Apparently, these are the perennial questions about sex especially for women: “if we have sex, will he call,” and for men, “when will she be ready.” When a little suspicious of such glib formulations, just nod to the spirit of the clichés. Sex is messy and complex, and never more so than when it is with a new person. It is important, very important, to have sex at just the right time in a relationship.

Do it for you
Have sex because you want to, not because you feel pressured or think the other person will disappear if you don't. A person like that is not looking for a serious relationship in the first place and you are just another receptacle for him/her. Do it when it feels right and do it for you. Better late and more
Whether you are a man or a woman, it is always better to get physical later, rather than sooner in a relationship. Why? Because you will get to know the other person better and be in a better position to decide if you really do want to sleep with him or her. Margaret Paul, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You? says, “[People try] to get the intimate connection through sex, but great sex is an outgrowth of intimacy, not a cause of it. ... Physical attraction is never enough to see people through the inevitable conflicts that come up in primary relationships.” Focus on the relationship
As important and fun as sex is, if it is a relationship you want, then pay attention to nurturing that. Get to know the other person better and let them know things about you. If you ask yourself, “Do I trust this person?” you should be able to say, “Yes” with no doubts. This is the way to feel more comfortable around him or her, and that is a prerequisite for good sex. The physical attraction will only become stronger and more deeply grounded. Is what you have enough?
Look at how much physical closeness you already have. Do you hold hands? Do you have trouble keeping your hands off each other? Is there a spark between you? When you kiss, do you want more? What does the person's kissing style suggest to you about their bedroom style? What do you have besides chemistry? In the answers to these questions, you will find if it is the right time, or even if it is actually what you want. Get the time right, literally
Whether it is spontaneous or planned, make sure your first time together is relaxed and private. You don't have to have scented candles and satin sheets, but the backseat of the car in a parking lot or alleyway might not be the best place. Always be responsible; use a condom. Be prepared for after
If you do have sex, there will be an after – whether the morning after or the munchies after. Treat what happened with respect, but not absurd devotion or gratitude. Conversation will ease any tension that either of you may feel. You can even make a few jokes, just nothing that your partner might construe as meanness. Just so you know, the first time may be lousy or amazing, but it isn't always an indicator of things to come. Sometimes people stop trying to impress their partner and become selfish and other times, greater understanding and emotional closeness makes for quantum leaps in the quality of sex. In this time and age of instant gratification, sex has become an important parameter to judge relationships, but make sure this does not pressure you into doing anything that makes you uncomfortable.

Via http://www.eromance.com/relationships/bedroom-156.html

Sounds like cupid is doing quite bit better than OK.

The online dating and matchmaking industry grew 2.3 percent between 2008 and 2011, with 2.8 percent more growth expected annually through 2016, according to IBISWorld. The number of people employed in the field is expected to increase from 15,606 in 2011 to nearly 17,000 by 2016.

The growth is fueled by a high profit margin, a low (but increasing) barrier to entry and a falling social stigma against meeting your mate online. In fact, recent studies commissioned by online dating sites show that as many as 30 percent of newly married couples first met through the click of a mouse.

Excerpt taken from: www.inc.com