It's almost impossible to not get caught up in the spirit of the holiday season each year. The sound of Christmas music is wafting through the stores at the mall, on the radio and even in the halls of our places of business. You can smell the excitement in the air along with the scents of Christmas pines, cinnamon, hot chocolate and the sounds of crackling fire places.  People all in a mad dash, spending, buying and uplifted by the romantic notions of gift giving and the excitement of all that encompasses the upcoming holidays.

This is a time to think of loved ones and to be recognized and loved back by our respective special people in our lives. Whether it is a romantic partner, a best friend, family members or acquaintances, there is barely a soul that doesn't want to be part of the lovely and warm- hearted ,  spirited  rush of this madness. 

The  effects of the holiday season  are not always an uplifting experience for the many people that spend the holiday alone. I often hear those that are not in a relationship or disconnected from family, remarking with blanket statements that they hate the holidays. It is very true that this time of year is difficult at best; for those that wish for the experiential closeness of lovers, friends and family it is a wake up call of just how alone they actually are. 

 I often feel  that the Holiday Experience may just be overrated in some aspects, both sentimentally and emotionally.   Hearing from a patient recently that, "the whole idea of giving gifts that no one wants and receiving gifts that you don't need is just a silly  waste of time" , I stopped to think and respond to those thoughts. 

Of course we all know that the holidays are not just about gift giving but represent sacred religious traditions. With that said, all other aspects of the season are both sentimental, individually traditional in many ways and full of unique expectations from each of us. 

None of us can control the variant aspects of relationship. For some at this time of year, you may be entering a new relationship, celebrating years together, or ending a relationship. There are issues of divorce, breakups, loss and tragedy for many.   

In order to move forward during this time of year with no regrets or sadness for the life you live, whether it be with another or alone, now is the time to make you dreams become real.  Make yourself a better friend, become a better person in the new year ahead.  This time of year is a time to celebrate your life and your future.

 I am writing this blog on December 22, 2012.  Obviously we are all still here thank goodness, in contradiction to the Mayan calendar's predictions! I believe that the real meaning of those predictions were about change. The recognition of the world around us, the need for each and everyone of us to make a difference in the world. 

Instead of bemoaning the holidays and focusing on "being alone", how amazing it would be if we could each pay it forward and GIVE of ourselves. There is always someone out there with problems greater than yours. Someone that would benefit greatly from whatever you can give, whether it be your time or intention. 

I believe in making life happen, not waiting for life to happen to you. Go out this holiday and donate your time to a good cause, appreciate and take stock of all of the aspects of your life that you are grateful for. I'm sure there are some. Hug your child, your friends, your family, or a stranger!  Make new friends and join the human race again...... I'm so very sure there are welcoming arms waiting for you. 

In Love and Light...

Dr. Arlene Krieger

 by Dr. Arlene Krieger 

Some men are just oblivious and others simply seem to just get it and understand what we women are all about! It is a well known fact that the sexes are altogether different creatures. So hold on to your Iphone and take careful notes here guys!

Women in general like acknowledgment and loving affection, a person with whom they can connect, relate to and most important of all, a person they can trust. We also need our men to be able to “Communicate.” Yes I know, that is such a tricky term of art for men to grasp, so I’ll make it simple and break it down for you.

Women want to be able to discuss their life, their dreams, their hopes and fears. For every secret they tell you, they want you to tell them four more. Hopefully by the time you've dated for at least a month, women want to be able to feel the “we” of the relationship, which means that you would be using what I call “future talk” with one another.

This includes talk on the man’s part of wanting to include the woman in his life to some capacity, i.e. introducing her to his friends, remembering specifics of her career, being spontaneous, wanting to surprise and please her, talk of future plans together for the holidays, summer vacations, in other words, letting your woman know that you can actually see a possible future for the two of you somewhere down the road! ( Im not talking about running off to get married at the the Elvis Chapel on the 5th date)

Although women can seem mysterious, they will show you what it feels like to be truly loved, as long as you’re willing and able to accept the responsibility of a true and loving relationship. It is up to you, the man to show them that you and your feelings for her are real, and mean it! Your words must always be your honor. No excuses or sad stories for why you forget to call them on Saturday nights or are too tied up with your own life demands to find the time to pursue them ( no matter how hard it may be for you at times) with the desire of a man in love!

Compassion and understanding are also big on the list of Do’s. Women like a man that is compassionate and understanding, someone who shows that he genuinely cares. It is important for a woman in this 21st century to be able to speak her mind without being considered to be “trouble” or a “princess”….respect for your woman’s thoughts and opinions matter. Recognize her intelligence and strong points.

Even if you don’t agree with her, find good points from both perspectives and learn to communicate. It is of utmost import for her to know that she is seen as a total and whole person in your eyes. Never cut her down or tell her she would be so much more beautiful ( or look 10 years younger) if only she would ; i.e. get her breasts enlarged or go blond! Find something unique her that no one has ever told her about before, and mean it. Women will see right through anything that is not authentic.

Hope these few tips for getting the girl that you deserve have helped! Just remember, you’ve gotta be the guy that she deserves and no less!!!!!

Excerpt~ Coming May, 11th, 2012

For the most part, we all go into the dating world full of expectations and hope, sometimes ignorant of reality. We can laugh at the drama of dating and the road to relationship, so many sins, so little time, yet it hurts to the core to be disappointed time after time. The old adage of "What is the definition of insanity?"..Doing the same thing over and over again with the same negative results seems to apply. Yet, we persevere believing in the fairy tale of that one great guy out there that is just perfect for us!

You know that guy, the one with the perfect white teeth, gorgeous smile and a body to die for. He is successful, independent, owns an expensive car and is savvy enough to know the politically correct lingo of 800 thread count sheets and Louboutin shoes.  Ok, I may be mocking the "Fairy Tale" of romance, yet read on; unfortunately life can be cruel and selective when it comes to the mating dance of relationship and romance.

Whether you are in your 20's or 50's and reading this book, these self-perpetuating dating rules still seem to apply across the board. We all want the achieving man, not the guy that just couldn't get his act together and is a gread dude but missing a tooth or two. You might have a fling with the muscle guy from the gym or a one night stand that you swear wouldn't have happened if you hadn't been so intoxicated. Yet, as free-spirited as you think yourself to be, don't kid yourself.

There are 3 lies that women tell themselves; 1. it doesn't matter that he has no career plans or money 2. If I sleep with him he'll fall in love with me, 3. I don't care if he doesn't call me the next day after I've slept with  him, I can be as much of a man as he is!   Nope....not true.  Don't be hard on yourselves though for trying to convince yourselves of these "Triplet Tyrannys" it's not altogether your fault, for now, lets blame it all on that little devil hormone, Oxytocin. but more about that later.

The Truth is: Ultimately you want that man that is going to take care of you and your future, the one that as they say, can be there for you when you can't be there for yourself. You may be young or older, have a career and plans for your life, but when you  choose that one man, the one whose hands you are going to be placing your life in, you want the winner.